Fifty

After anticipating this milestone birthday for a year, the day had finally arrived. I realized I'd been saying, "I'm going to be 50 in ___ months" all year, and didn't even savor 49! Oh well. Hopefully, that means the 50s are going to the best!

A super fun part of the celebration was when Burke told me, "Be ready at 2:30. Someone is picking you up for a late lunch." This made me very nervous, wondering who it may be. I was thrilled when Vicki & Tim knocked on the door, literally cried tears of joy and relief. We went to Post Boy in New Buffalo, and I was extra happy that Allyson made the trip to join us. They are the best of friends...

at Post Boy

30+ years of friendship

Vicki brought her celebratory 50th birthday crown and sash, that she recently wore. 

We headed home where more friends and family were gathered. Burke and the boys set out yard games, including a piñata which was super fun.

family pictures to mark the occasion

Another fun element was this "cake flight." Cake is my favorite. We had a Sanders Bumpy Cake, cakes from Bit of Swiss and Portillo's, and a homemade one from Steve.

Ryan went around to take cake and ice cream orders. With 4 cakes and 2 ice creams, an order pad was necessary. Cake and ice cream distribution was a team effort, for sure.

After most of the guests had gone, Burke, Ryan and I played oversized, yard Jenga in the dark.

My parents got me 50 roses!!

Ryan's card which is a treasure! It's a lovely "this is your life" situation. Hope College, travel, yoga mat, tap shoes, NYC, Detroit, cake, books, the beach. The bottom right corner is an uncanny rendering of our 5th grade classroom, which is especially touching. 

Family and friends, near and far, generously showered me with thoughtful gifts and well-wishes. Also, I'm grateful to Burke, Ryan, and Evan for putting thought and effort into pulling this party together. Thank you for being witnesses to my big, little life! 

Ryan's Send Off

At the beginning of August, we all traveled to Ann Arbor for Orientation. It was a day of information and exploring. Happily, at that point, we got to take Ryan home with us to enjoy being a complete family unit for four more weeks. 

outside his soon-to-be home

Lots of activity happens inside Michigan Union, 

and I liked the flowers over the sign. 

Soon after orientation, he cast his first vote!

Also, in that final four weeks as a full time resident of our family home, Ryan and his quartet organized a summer recital. The final performance of the acclaimed Bear Quartet, coached by Mr. Reed. They organized this recital entirely on their own, and I felt a sense of how mature and capable they are. Very encouraging as we approached move in day.

We had some of Ryan's favorite meals leading up to move in day, including steak of course. We also enjoyed a delicious tuna sandwich with potato chips and veggie burritos.

After what I realized was about a year and a half of anticipation, the starting point being spring break of his junior year when we went on our first college tours, move in day finally arrived. It was a bustling year for all of us to varying degrees, bringing closure to old ways, and planning for new adventures, while mentally preparing for a new norm. 

Evan stayed home to work, which we didn't love, but appreciated that it allowed for more space in the car for Ryan's things. With the car packed, we said goodbye in the driveway. I brought both my babies in for a hug before we left. I am so grateful my boys give me grace for such displays of sentiment. 

We talked most of the way (about two and a half hours) about some items that came up during orientation that I made note of to talk to Ryan about - topics such as, alcohol expectations, healthy relationships, medical support options, and whether he had the laundry app on his phone yet. 

Unloading the car was super smooth, and we had his belongings relatively situated in no time. 

making the bed

three members of the quad, all high school friends

the other quad-mate, 

who plays in the Michigan Marching Band (so cool!)

Ryan's spaces for the 2026-27 school year

Burke and I stayed back to put together a shelf and tidy up our stuff while Ryan went off to the dining hall with one of his roommates. We captured a proud parent moment.

We stayed the night, because I didn't want to drive all the way back the same day, and because I wanted to rip off the bandaid slowly. We took him out to dinner that first night, and then brunch the next day. Then it was time to say goodbye for now. I cried a lot and was sort of despondent that day. Ugh...

This is all very surreal, but also feels right. Home feels quieter, different. Burke, Evan, and I miss having Ryan around, being a four-person unit. That said, it makes adjusting a bit easier knowing that Ryan is more than ready to try his hand at increased independence, and he intends to make the most of his time at University of Michigan.

Class of 2030

[Ryan is somewhere in middle of the left leg of the Block M]

This feels like a good time to repost the very first picture of Ryan from this blog.

Here we are 18 years, 4 months, and 10 days later... 

dropping him off at college!